WEDDING HOMILY

Ladies and gentlemen,
We are witnessing a great moment in the lives of Emily and Anthony . So far they had been part of two different families but a few moments from now they will be forming a new family of their own. They are going to promise to God and each other and those here present that no matter how frail , ill or weak they would get in their life, they would always be there for each other. So far they were brought up in different families with different backgrounds. Like two creeks join together and become one river they become one. So far they have had different river banks and different waves and ripples and rapids in their lives, but now on they merge together and have only one flow and rapids , one rhythm of waves and share one shore in their life. They unite their minds and hearts together to live together as one.

Marriage is formed when the couples exchange promises to give themselves mutually and freely to each other in a definitive way. I stress the words mutually, freely and definitive way. They are indispensible element of marriage. Free consent to permanent union and the openness to having children are integral part of this sacrament. If these elements are absent, it cannot become a valid marriage. If they say no to any of these essential elements I cannot declare them to be married on behalf of the church.

Remember that there are not two but three parties in this marriage. The couples and God. God joins them. That is why marriage is called indissoluble. Actually they decided to marry not just today, but may be months ago. But that decision did not get an indissoluble nature as it was not confirmed with God’s will. They could give up their decision, even to this point. But now once they are uniting their decision to give each other permanently, permanently, in the will of God – God’s will which is immutable, their marriage becomes indissoluble. Our mind or our decisions change, but not God’s. God has only one decision and he doesn’t keep changing his decisions and plans.

Emily and Anthony, As God unites you today, for happiness and permanence of your marriage you need to pray together every day to God for the success of your marriage. I believe 100 percent success for marriages of those couples who pray every night kneeling together at the edge of their bed and ask God for success of their married life.

Marriage is a sacrament of love and commitment. Jesus said “ No man has greater love than this than laying down one’s life for others. There is no greater bond in this world , in human relationship than the marital bond. Book of Genesis says and man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife. Our bonds with our parents and our children are not intended for permanency. Those bonds become weak in our life, and they leave us at some point in life. But the bond of husband and wife is meant to last till death. The wedding vows take a life time to live out.

After living with his wife for two years a business man husband could not adjust with his wife and so he send his wife home with a note “ your product is not satisfactory. So it is returned”. The girl’s father was also a business man and he sends her back with a note “ Warranty expired , manufacturer is not responsible for it”.

Marriage involves a life time commitment. This commitment involves fidelity. You promise each other “ I promise to be true to you…. This involves you promise to avoid any mister or mistress in your life. This mister or mistress can be -work, a hobby, the children, even volunteer activities that can cut into romance time and the attention a couple needs to devote to each other. You need to spend Time Together. Life becomes busy: Bills need to be paid; the home must be maintained; children require attention. But all of life's demands should not be at the expense of spending quality time together.

You promise unconditional love: Love is a decision and not just a feeling. Love involves putting your partner’s needs before your own. You say in your promise- in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. To love unconditionally is a promise for the future. It has more to do with your decision to love than merely the feeling of love. Can you love him/her when his/her body has lost its vigor and beauty ? Can you love him/her through annoying habits and when he/she hurt you ? Not knowing what changes the future will bring, can you love each other when you become old, ugly, fat or senile ? That’s a lot to say a blind yes to.

You make a covenant with each other. You say: I will love you and honor you… A covenant is a promise that goes deeper than a contract. Contracts are legal documents that spell out rights and duties. Contracts can be broken if one party doesn’t hold up their end. A covenant on the other hand, goes beyond a 50/50 agreement. Sometimes one spouse will need to bend 75% while the other only gives 25%. It is not always fair, but it’s a promise that doesn’t count the cost. The first step in a successful marriage is for both husband and wife to put all their effort into the relationship—each giving 100%!

The three most important things to keep a marriage healthy are commitment, commitment and commitment. With divorce rate hovering around 50%, it may seem that commitment is out of style. It is not that human nature has changed much. But the culture we live in has changed. No longer is there a strong cultural support for a lifelong marriage. We live in a throw away society; if something breaks, our first impulse is to get a new one rather than fix the old. This cultural change contributes to making commitment harder than it used to be. So it is a challenge. It is a call to live in the grace of Jesus. Jesus said: You can do nothing with out me. So it is a life fully trusting the Lord. You may be called to adapt to many factors that are beyond your control. It takes a long time to create a good relationship. A good marriage teaches us that failure is human and forgiveness comes in love.

Sometimes we tend to forget how important togetherness is. We take one another for
granted and bicker about little things. Life is precious, so is your marriage

Communication is one of the most important keys to success. Before marriage, couples often find themselves talking a lot—but this soon diminishes after the wedding day. Communication must continue throughout the marriage. The couple must continue to learn from one another, taking time to share their thoughts and feelings.

Most marriages fail because of a lack of or wrong communication. Seemingly the only type of dialog in many marriages is arguing and fighting. This is not communication! Nothing productive ever comes from this, and it should be avoided at all costs. If the discussion escalates, both must make a point to apologize immediately.

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early flight to Sydney. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 am".

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed..it said... "It is 5:00 am, wake up!"

To such marriages it is said – after marriage husband and wife become 2 sides of a coin, they just can’t face each other, but still they live together.

"When you fall, in any way, Don't see the place where you fell, Instead see the place from where you slipped. Life is about correcting mistakes."

I don’t want to take you any further from here. I think they had enough to know how important a step they are going to take now. Let’s pray that the Lord may grant them the grace to build their home on rocky foundation with the solid rocks of gospel values and not on shaky foundation of present day unhealthy cultural trends. Wish you both a happy married life.

BEATITUDES OF MARRIAGE

Blessed are the husband and wife who continue to be affectionate,
considerate, and loving after the wedding bells have ceased ringing.

Blessed are the husband and wife who are as polite and courteous to
one another as they are to their friends.

Blessed are they who love their mates more than any other person in
the world, and who joyfully fulfill their marriage vow of a lifetime
of fidelity and mutual helpfulness to one another.

Blessed are they who attain parenthood, for children are a heritage of
the Lord.

Blessed are they who remember to thank God for their food before they
partake of it, and who set apart some time each day for the reading of
the Bible and for prayer.

Blessed are those mates who never speak loudly to one another, and who
make their home a place "where seldom is heard a discouraging word."

Blessed are the husband and wife who faithfully attend the worship
service of the church, and who work together in the church for the
advancement of Christ's kingdom.

Blessed are the husband and wife who can work out the problems of
adjustment without interference from relatives.

Blessed is the couple which has complete understanding about financial
matters, and have worked out a perfect partnership, with all money
under the control of both.

Blessed are the husband and wife who humbly dedicate their lives and
their homes to Christ, and who practice the teachings of Christ in the
home by being unselfish, loyal and loving.