Why veil the statues in the Holy week and no Mass on Good Friday?

As you can see the statues in the Church are veiled during Holy week. It is not mandatory since the Vat.II, and so not all Churches do that any more. The rational behind this practice is that:

Christ hid himself from the rage of the Jewish authorities (John 8:59), as they threatened to stone him;  so now he is hidden from the world in preparation for the mysteries of his passion.

“The statues of the saints, too, are covered; for it is but just that, if the glory of the Master be eclipsed, the servant should not appear.

Another reason is that  our Savior’s divinity was almost totally eclipsed during the holy week, so great was his suffering. And even his humanity was obscured – so much so that he could say through his prophet: I am a worm and no man (Psalm 21:7). His face and whole body were so disfigured by the blows and scourges that our Jesus was scarcely recognizable! Thus, the wounds he endured hid both his divinity and his humanity.

 It may be possible that the Church covers the images of the Cross during these days, for the same reason that she refrains from offering the Sacrifice of the Mass on Good Friday.

St. Thomas tells us that “the figure ceases on the advent of the reality. But this sacrament [i.e. the Eucharist] is a figure and a representation of our Lord's Passion. And therefore on the day on which our Lord's Passion is recalled as it was really accomplished, this sacrament is not consecrated.” (ST III, q.83, a.2, ad 2). In this time in which we mystically enter into the historical realities of Jesus’ final days, it is not fitting to have the image, sign or sacrament of the Cross presented to the faithful.

Homily on the Canonization of St.Chavara Elias.

Today is the feast of Christ the King. Jesus the risen King has many courtiers in his heavenly mansion. They are called Saints. They are the ones (mentioned in the book of Revelation): those who sit on thrones around the majestic seat of Christ the king. A saint is someone who lived his or her life heroically, or in an extraordinary way witnessing his or her faith in Jesus.

Today we are proud to have two saints added to the list of the Catholic church from our native state:.Sts.Kuriakose Elias Chavara the namesake of this parish and Sr.Euprasia who was known as praying nun who lived in the order founded by St.Elias. It is an honor for us to have these two saints in one stroke added to the Syro Malabar Church.

What is it that, they did to have been elevated to the status of saints. Well, with Sr.Euprasia nothing outstanding is said about her other than she was a woman of prayer. Probably that would tell us what we as Christians need to do to be saints in our life. Just keep the connection with God always; be a person of prayer. As a burning bulb needs to keep its connection with the electric  power source or transformer, so we need to be connected with God. That is the only, and the only thing needed to become a saint. As Jesus told Martha: Martha Martha you are worried about too many things, but only one thing is necessary, Mary has chosen that part. Because holiness does not come from doing a lot of charities or doing the right thing. Doing the right thing for Jesus. If that weren’t the case the Catholic Church should have canonized Mahatma Gandhi as a saint. He may be called a saint in generic sense of being a good man, but to be a saint in the eyes of the Church, all our actions should be done in and through and for Christ. So, being united to Christ and living for him is the Primary and basic requirement to be called a saint. Holiness comes from God. It is God’s property. It can be ours only through faith in Jesus. And therefore, doing works of charity will not bring holiness unless that emanates from one’s closeness to God. That is why St.Paul says that we are saved through grace not by works.

Observing the life of prayer and holiness of Sr.Euprasia, the local people called her “Praying Mother”, and her Sisters in community referred to her as the “Mobile Tabernacle”, because the divine presence she kept within her radiated to all she encountered.

Thus, with a pure heart Mother Euphrasia gave her maternal love and tenderness to those who sought her help. She gave them the comforting words of Jesus’ Gospel and interceded for them. For each little kindness bestowed upon her she would reply, “I will not forget it, not even after death”.

Mother Euphrasia had a profound sense of Church and she personally felt the sorrows and problems of the Church of her day. Mother Euphrasia offered her life in sacrifice for love of God. She abandoned herself to his will and finally joined him on 29 August 1952.

Moving on to St.Kuriakose Elias Chavara, he was a priest in the Archdiocese of Verapoly. To bring the Syro Malabar Church history in perspective: Till 1887 the Syro Malabar Church was under the Latin bishops governance and only in 1923 syro Malabar Hierarchy was restored.

St.Elias was born in 1805 at Kainakary, near Allappuzha. In 1830 he went to Mannanam to direct the construction of the first house of the congregation of which the foundation stone was laid in 1831. On 8th December, 1855 he made the religious profession along with other 10 companions, under the name “Kuriakose Elias of Holy Family”.

In 1871, on January 3rd, Fr. Kuriakose Elias Chavara, with a painful illness, died at Koonammavu monastery in Kochi. His mortal remains were later transferred from Koonammavu to Mannanam in 1889, two years after the Syro Malabar hierarchy was established.

He was the Prior General of all the monasteries of the congregation from 1856 till his death in 1871. When, in 1861, a schism threatened the Church of Kerala with the arrival of Mar Thomas Rokos without proper credentials from the Pope, Blessed Chavara was appointed the Vicar-General of the Syro-Malabar Church by the Arch-Bishop of Verapolly.

Blessed Chavara is gratefully remembered and acknowledged by the later leaders of the Church and by the Catholic community in general for his strenuous fight, strong stance , and effective leadership in thwarting `Thomas Rochos’ intrusion and saving the church of Kerala from schism.

What made  Kuriakos Elias a saint is not anything that he did, like his contribution to education; (I don’t’ want to go into there in detail as you all already know it), or the positions he bore, but his extraordinary trust in God and in his ability to transform that trust into actions of Charity. His trust in doing little things with extra ordinary trust in God’s providence.

So, what is that we are called to do here when we celebrate this day? Just to rejoice and celebrate? Yes, but much more. It is a call for us to strive to become saints. These two were declared saints not because they were religious priest or a nun. No. If that is the case you people have no chance. But because as I said earlier they trusted in the promise of God. Sr.Euprasia chose what Mary chose and Fr.Kuriakose chose what Mary and Martha chose in their lives. If their lives do not present an invitation for us to strive the path of holiness, then this means nothing for us. We are called to be human beings, not human doings. It is primarily our attitude to life and God rather than our actions that matter most. So open yourself/ourselves to this call of God to holiness and in that our efforts these two compatriots will help us. 

MOTHER OF GOD- NEW YEAR-2014.

A few weeks ago, when Pope Francis was selected as “Person of the Year,” a young woman of feminist leanings joked, “We should have a WOMAN as head of the church ABOVE the Pope,”.  Another woman who heard her immediately tossed back, “We have one- Mary.  Mary, Mother of God, is above the Pope in the Church!”   She is not God, but above any human being as the message of the angel indicated “Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb too. She herself proclaimed: All generations will call me blessed.

Today we celebrate the New year, but as Catholics today we think and celebrate Mary as the Mother of God.  Mary’s Motherhood is the heart and reason for all our attention to and claims on Mary through the centuries.

Jesus once asked his disciples “Who do you say I am?” (Mt 16:15).  It is a question that never goes away, and every believer faces it again and again.  We can be quite clear in our mind about the Church’s answer to the question, but every believer has to experience the force of the question addressed to him or herself.  “Who do you say I am?”  In a sense it cannot be fully answered with words but only with one’s life.  It could have the right formulation but it has little significance if my life contradicts it or ignores it. 

Through the centuries every possible answer has been given.  Followers of Nestorius, the 5th-century archbishop of Constantinople said that Christ was two persons – the man Jesus and the divine Son of God.  This view was rejected at the Council of Ephesus (431 AD), which insisted that Jesus was one person with two natures, divine and human.  The most emphatic way they could say this was to affirm that Mary was not just the mother of the man Jesus, but that she was the mother of God.  This was to say that Christ was one person, not two.  If there were two persons in Jesus, Mary could not be the mother of Son of God. She could only be the mother of human Jesus, not of the Christ. Note that it is more a statement about Christ than about Mary – or rather, equally so.

In today's Second Reading, St Paul reminds us that through God's grace we have all become brothers and sisters of Christ and, therefore, children of God.

This is what happened at baptism. At that moment we were born again, supernaturally; God infused his divine DNA into our souls. The spiritual life consists of the gradual spread and development of that DNA, until each one of us becomes a mature, wise, and fruitful follower of Jesus Christ.

Today's Solemnity reminds us that if we have become Christ's spiritual brothers and sisters, we have also become spiritual children of Mary. She was his mother in the flesh, and she is our mother in grace. Representing all disciples of Jesus in John the apostle Jesus said: this is your mother.

In today's Gospel she teaches us one of the most important virtues of all: wisdom. St Luke tells us how Mary responded to the wonderful things that God was doing in and around her: "Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart."

God did not tell Mary His entire plan. She had to walk in the dim light of faith, one step at a time, trusting in God, witnessing his action, and seconding it whenever she could. This capacity and habit of reflecting in our heart of God's action in our lives is both a sign and a source of wisdom. And we can never become mature, courageous, and joyful  followers of Christ unless we develop it.

Our culture has a custom of making new year resolutions. Why not make the resolution to spend this year learning from our spiritual mother how to let God put wisdom into our lives, by "keeping all these things and reflecting on them in our hearts" through praying Rosary every day. Rosary is a very powerful weapon to fight Satanic influences in our families if prayed together as a family.

As we make new priorities for life, let’s make sure that Jesus and Mary find a place in our plans and decision makings. When  wrestling with all the uncertainties of life, struggles, challenges that seem to keep coming our way, remember we can fight them all with the help of Mary and her Son.

In closing let me draw our attention to one of the important areas we should be paying attention to this new year. It is about redeeming our time.

What portion of our time does God have in my everyday life ? How much television are we watching? How much time to sports are we devoting? What are we doing with our time? If we don’t find time for God, he will not find time for us to. Let’s not always be pleasure seekers but seekers of Holiness, which gives us joy and peace.  Let’s start every day of our New year on our knees, one who kneels before God can stand up to anything in life. Wish you all a happy new year.

NEW YEAR -2012

NEW YEAR-2012.

Numbers 6: 22-27,Galatians 4:4-7;Gospel:Luke 2: 16-21

It is fortunate that New Year's Day falls on a Sunday. This brings us all together into the house of God. This, of course, is where we ought to begin a New Year. On a new year’s day a young man started out with a prayer: Dear Lord! So far this year I've done well. I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I'm very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I'm going to get out of bed, and from then on I'm probably going to need a lot more help. Amen. Though we feel to laugh on this, it tells us that we really need God’s help to keep us going in good track.
New year comes around with a lot of expectations, but behind them there may be some remorse too. The name "January" comes from the Roman god Janus, the god with two faces, one looking to the past and the other looking to the future. This is indeed a time to look back at the year that has just ended and to look forward to the new year ahead of us. How did I spend this one year of my life that has just passed? Did I use it to advance my goals and objectives in life? Did I use it to enhance the purpose of my existence? Could I have done better last year in the way I invested my time between the demands of work, family, friends and society, and the demands of my spiritual life? What things did I achieve last year and what did I fail to achieve? How can I consolidate the achievements of last year while reversing the failures and losses in this new year? Through soul searching questions like these we find that a review of the past year naturally leads to setting goals and resolutions for the new year. We do need to review our lives from year to year because, as Socrates says, the unexamined life is not worth living.
Today's newspapers are full of individual and collective new year resolutions. Most of those, however, are not resolutions at all but only wishes. What is the difference between a resolution and a wish? A wish identifies a goal one wants to reach, a resolution specifies the steps one will take to reach it.
A boy asked his father, "Dad, if three frogs were sitting on a limb that hangs over a pool, and one frog decided to jump off into the pool, how many frogs would be left on the limb?" The dad replied, "Two."

"No," the son replied. “Here is the question again: There are three frogs and one decided to jump, how many are left?"

The dad said, "Oh, I get the point! If one decided to jump, the others would too. So there are none left."

The boy said, "No dad, the answer is three. The frog only DECIDED to jump."

Does that sound like our last year’s resolutions? Great inspiration and great resolutions, but oftentimes we only decide, and months later we are still on the same limb of do-nothing. Because, mostly they were wishes, not resolutions, involving the steps to achieve them.
Our lives are shaped much more by our attitude than by our circumstances. Everybody has struggles. My struggles are just more apparent than yours. That’s why I think my troubles are greater than yours.
The good news is what lies ahead is no surprise to God. In fact, He has already been where we are going. That reason alone empowers us to face every tomorrow with hope, knowing whatever touches us passes through His hands, with His permission.
Whatever the situation in which we find ourselves - a hardship, a disappointment, a decision to make - God has a solution, an answer that is right for us. We tell God about it in prayer but we also listen to what God has to tell us about it. Prayer is a conversation with God but sometimes all we do is pick up the phone, read out the list of our problems to God and drop the phone without listening to hear what God has to say to us. Let us today resolve to listen more to the voice of God, to treasure God's word and ponder it in our hearts. Then shall we be able to realize our new year resolution of a new life in union with God. Let us see this year as another chance given to us to get it right, to grow in familiarity with God our loving Father, and to grow in our awareness of ourselves as God’s beloved children.
Today’s Feast of "Mary, the Mother of God" is a very appropriate way to begin a new year. What better way to ring in the New Year than to celebrate the woman whose complete devotion to God played such a central role in our salvation? A Human woman is the mother of God, and God is the son of a human mother.
The gospel today presents Mary to us as a model of that new life in Christ that all of us wish for ourselves in the new year. There we see that Mary was prepared to do something to realize this goal. What did she do? We read that the shepherds, when they went to adore the Child Jesus in the manger, told all that the angels had said to them. "But Mary treasured all these words and pondered them in her heart" (Luke 2:19). Again after the boy Jesus was found in the Temple, we are told that "His mother treasured all these things in her heart" (Luke 2:51). Mary was a woman who valued the word of God, who treasured it and made time to meditate and ponder it. It is true that the holiness of Mary is attributed to the grace of God, but this should not make us forget that she needed to make an effort in order to cooperate with the grace of God. She pondered the word of God in order to discern what God was saying to her at every stage in her life as the handmaid of God.
St Luke tells us that "Mary kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart." God did not tell Mary his entire plan. We know much more than she did about how everything was going to work out. She had to walk in the dim light of faith, one step at a time, trusting in God, witnessing his action, and seconding it whenever she could. But she paid attention. She pondered in her heart all of God's gifts to her, all of his words and deeds. Today in Holy Communion we will receive the Body of Christ, which was formed in the womb of Mary. When we do, let's ask our spiritual Mother, the Mother of God and of all Christians, to teach us how to take care of the precious faith we have received and renewed during these days, just as she took care of the baby Jesus.

CHRISTMAS-2011

CHRISTMAS.

After explaining childbirth the biology teacher asked her 4thgraders to write an essay on "childbirth" in their families. Susan went home and asked her mother how she was born. Her mother, who was busy at the time, said, “A big white swan brought you darling, and left you on our doorstep.” Continuing her research she asked grandma how her parents got her. Being in the middle of something, her grandma similarly deflected the question by saying, “A fairy brought me and my mother found me in our garden in an open box”. Then the girl went and asked her great-grandmother how her parents got her as a baby. “My mother picked me from a box found in the gooseberry bush”, said the surprised great-grandma. With this information the girl wrote her essay. When the teacher asked her later to read it in front of the class, she stood up and began, "I really wonder why there was not even a single natural birth in our family for four generations... Today we celebrate the birth of Jesus. It’s a non-normal birth never before seen or experienced because it is the birth of God as man – Jesus Christ, Son of God and Son of Man, as our Savior.

Larry King on CNN was once asked by some one on Christmas Day and told if Jesus were to come now and you are given a chance to ask him one question, just one question, what would that question be ? He said: He would ask: Are you born of a Virgin?. That is the proof that he was God. Is there any thing that God could not perform by human beings? God could give power to human beings and make them do things, even great things. Samson in the O.T. was a great man, man of power. He could kill several lions in just one stroke.

When we make things for our use, we make them useful for our particular purpose, special use. If we make a spade that is meant to make holes in the ground. If we make a ship that is meant to travel in water and so it would be fitted to be able to travel in water. So is with anything we make for our need. If God created every human being in this world through the union of a man and a woman, and make just one man exempt from that order of creation, it is for a purpose. Otherwise he would be irrational God, creating things with no purpose. Why do you think Jesus was to be born of a virgin and not from the cooperation of a man in this process?
If God wanted to come to the earth and save man, he could have come down on Good Friday and do the work of salvation in three days and get back to heaven on the third day. Why did he come down to the earth as a weak human being ? First of all to save human beings from our sins. Sin became part of human nature. It is not something outside of us that we can get rid of it of ourselves. Man could not forgive his sins himself, because it is in himself. He had to be forgiven by God, because it is primarily a sin against God, a separation from God. So someone who is in human nature and at the same time is above human nature and is able to free the sins from the human nature has to be involved in this process. That is why God became man and at the same time he remained God too. Perfectly man and perfectly God. That is why he was born of a virgin. If he was born of a virgin he is surely God. Because no one ever was born that way.

No incarnations in other religions ever claimed that right. The Quran clearly mentions, and even more vehemently defends than the Bible does, that Jesus was born of a virgin. It also admits that no one was ever born that way. If the Quran admits so, that is the clear proof that Quran admits Jesus’ divinity, even though, it tells that Jesus is not God in other places. Why would God let someone be born in a unique way, without a human father and he is just a prophet like any body else ? Are you saying God does things without meaning and purpose ? If you have a Muslim friend and ask him this question and see what he answers.

It is popular nowadays to say that all religions are basically the same. You may have heard the example of people who say that God is like a mountain, and the different religions are the different paths up the mountain. But to say that all religions are the same is neither respectful nor tolerant - it is either arrogant or ignorant. Religions do have some things in common, but they also have substantial differences.

Theologian Karl Barth stood before students and faculty at Princeton in 1963 during his Princeton Lectures. A student asked: "Sir, don't you think that God has revealed himself in other religions and not only Christianity?" Barth stunned many who were present when he thundered, "No, God has not revealed himself in any religion, including Christianity. He has revealed himself in his Son." Christianity is not a religion like all other religions of the world. The Church reveals the truth the Holy Spirit reveals to her. It is a complete manifestation of God for the humanity for the sake of building a living relationship with him.

No other religion can beat Christianity on two grounds both of which tell of Jesus’ divinity. First, is his Virgin birth. Even in the Hindu scriptures mentions are made about a man being born of a virgin bringing salvation for the humanity that prophesy has not been fulfilled in Hinduism yet, but only in Christianity. Secondly his resurrection of which the disciples were witnesses and for which they all died martyrs death. If it were a lie, none of the Apostles would not have given up their lives to defend that lie. You never hear people laying down life to defend lies, but only truth. No other religion can stand against this solid truths of Christianity.

Only we Christians have the privilege of saying, "The Word became flesh, and lived among us." God-with-us is a divine promise first to Israel, and through them to all of us, of God's unilateral faithfulness to humanity and God's eternal initiative toward all that is created. To put it even more plainly, Yahweh says I am going to be with you whether you know it or not, ask for it or not, or enjoy it or not. God is GIVEN once, and for all, and forever, to the human species and to the whole created world! That is the meaning of Incarnation, the meaning of Emmanuel, and the first and final meaning of Christmas. The other day I heard some one preaching on the word Emmanuel. Em-man-u-el- Man who knows you well. Though it is far fetched explanation, it sounds good to me.

The message of Christmas is that we are just travelers through this earthly life, and that God has come to travel with us, and that if we stay by his side, we are guaranteed to arrive safely at our final destination: the everlasting life of heaven, in the Father's house. That's why we can be joyful even in the midst of our tears and difficulties; because we know that our Redeemer lives and weeps at our side, and will never abandon us.

Our preparing for Christ’s rebirth in our daily lives is to cultivate the spirit of sacrifice and humility. It was by sacrifice that the shepherds of Bethlehem and the Magi were able to find the Savior. They were humble enough to see God in the Child in the manger. We too can experience Jesus by sharing Him with others, just as God shared His Son with us. Let us remember that the angels wished peace on earth only to those able to receive that peace, those who possessed the good will and largeness of heart to receive and then to share Jesus our Savior with others in love, kindness, mercy, forgiveness and humble service.

Let’s all the blessings of the Manger Born Baby be yours at this Christmas and through out the New year.

why God became man.

“Once upon a time there was a man who looked upon Christmas as a lot of humbug. He wasn’t a Scrooge. He was a kind and decent person, generous to his family, upright in all his dealings with other men. But he didn’t believe all that stuff about Incarnation which churches proclaim at Christmas. And he was too honest to pretend that he did. “I am truly sorry to distress you,” he told his wife, who was a faithful churchgoer. “But I simply cannot understand this claim that God becomes man. It doesn’t make any sense to me.”
On Christmas Eve his wife and children went to church for the midnight service. He declined to accompany them. “I’d feel like a hypocrite,” he explained. “I’d rather stay at home. But I’ll wait up for you.”
Shortly after his family drove away in the car, snow began to fall. He went to the window and watched the flurries getting heavier and heavier. “If we must have Christmas,” he thought, “it’s nice to have a white one.” He went back to his chair by the fireside and began to read his newspaper. A few minutes later he was startled by a thudding sound. It was quickly followed by another, then another.
He thought that someone must be throwing snowballs at his living room window. When he went to the front door to investigate, he found a flock of birds huddled miserably in the storm. They had been caught in the storm and in a desperate search for shelter had tried to fly through his window. “I can’t let these poor creatures lie there and freeze,” he thought. “But how can I help them?” Then he remembered the barn where the children’s pony was stabled. It would provide a warm shelter.
He put on his coat and galoshes and tramped through the deepening snow to the barn. He opened the door wide and turned on a light. But the birds didn’t come in. “Food will lure them in,” he thought. So he hurried back to the house for bread crumbs, which he sprinkled on the snow to make a trail into the barn. To his dismay, the birds ignored the bread crumbs and continued to flop around helplessly in the snow. He tried shooing them into the barn by walking around and waving his arms. They scattered in every direction - except into the warm lighted barn.
“They find me a strange and terrifying creature,” he said to himself, “and I can’t seem to think of any way to let them know they can trust me. If only I could be a bird myself for a few minutes, perhaps I could lead them to safety. . . .”
Just at that moment the church bells began to ring. He stood silent for a while, listening to the bells pealing the glad tidings of Christmas. Then he sank to his knees in the snow. “Now I do understand,” he whispered. “Now I see why You had to do it.” ”
Think of the many ways God has reached out to us to communicate with us since the beginning. The climax of God communicating with us in the Old Testament was when God formed the covenant with Moses on Mt. Sinai. God joined himself to us in a covenant and we were joined to God in a covenant. But we still sinned so God raised up prophets to call us back but only a small number of people paid heed to the prophets. Through one of the prophets, Hosea, God said that Israel has been like an unfaithful wife committing adultery by going after false gods. All through the centuries of the Old Testament God pursued us like a lover but we had broken the covenant and God had to make a new unbreakable covenant with us. For this new covenant, God would become flesh and bones like us, and shed his blood in the person of Jesus to convince us once and for all to accept his invitation to be his people. Jesus was the climax of God reaching out to us. As we heard in our Gospel today,
The Word was made flesh,
he lived among us,
and we saw his glory...
“Now I see why You had to do it” wrote Louis Cassels in A Christmas Parable. And indeed God had to do it, had to become one of us to make us understand because despite God’s best efforts throughout all the Old Testament we still didn’t get the message. Sometimes you have to, as we say, rub their noses in it to make them understand. Christmas is, in a sense, God rubbing our noses in it to make us understand. Christmas is God saying, “Maybe this will grab your attention.” The Letter to the Hebrews expresses it beautifully,
“At various moments in the past and by many means, God spoke to our ancestors through the prophets; but in our time, the final days, he has spoken to us in the person of his Son.” (Heb 1:1-2)
God has spoken to us, the Word has become flesh. Let us allow God’s word to sink into our hearts. I will conclude with the prayer at the end of our second reading today:
“May the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, give you a spirit of wisdom and perception of what is revealed, to bring you to full knowledge of him. May he enlighten the eyes of your mind so that you can see what hope his call holds for you, what rich glories he has promised the saints will inherit.”

WEDDING HOMILY

Ladies and gentlemen,
We are witnessing a great moment in the lives of Emily and Anthony . So far they had been part of two different families but a few moments from now they will be forming a new family of their own. They are going to promise to God and each other and those here present that no matter how frail , ill or weak they would get in their life, they would always be there for each other. So far they were brought up in different families with different backgrounds. Like two creeks join together and become one river they become one. So far they have had different river banks and different waves and ripples and rapids in their lives, but now on they merge together and have only one flow and rapids , one rhythm of waves and share one shore in their life. They unite their minds and hearts together to live together as one.

Marriage is formed when the couples exchange promises to give themselves mutually and freely to each other in a definitive way. I stress the words mutually, freely and definitive way. They are indispensible element of marriage. Free consent to permanent union and the openness to having children are integral part of this sacrament. If these elements are absent, it cannot become a valid marriage. If they say no to any of these essential elements I cannot declare them to be married on behalf of the church.

Remember that there are not two but three parties in this marriage. The couples and God. God joins them. That is why marriage is called indissoluble. Actually they decided to marry not just today, but may be months ago. But that decision did not get an indissoluble nature as it was not confirmed with God’s will. They could give up their decision, even to this point. But now once they are uniting their decision to give each other permanently, permanently, in the will of God – God’s will which is immutable, their marriage becomes indissoluble. Our mind or our decisions change, but not God’s. God has only one decision and he doesn’t keep changing his decisions and plans.

Emily and Anthony, As God unites you today, for happiness and permanence of your marriage you need to pray together every day to God for the success of your marriage. I believe 100 percent success for marriages of those couples who pray every night kneeling together at the edge of their bed and ask God for success of their married life.

Marriage is a sacrament of love and commitment. Jesus said “ No man has greater love than this than laying down one’s life for others. There is no greater bond in this world , in human relationship than the marital bond. Book of Genesis says and man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife. Our bonds with our parents and our children are not intended for permanency. Those bonds become weak in our life, and they leave us at some point in life. But the bond of husband and wife is meant to last till death. The wedding vows take a life time to live out.

After living with his wife for two years a business man husband could not adjust with his wife and so he send his wife home with a note “ your product is not satisfactory. So it is returned”. The girl’s father was also a business man and he sends her back with a note “ Warranty expired , manufacturer is not responsible for it”.

Marriage involves a life time commitment. This commitment involves fidelity. You promise each other “ I promise to be true to you…. This involves you promise to avoid any mister or mistress in your life. This mister or mistress can be -work, a hobby, the children, even volunteer activities that can cut into romance time and the attention a couple needs to devote to each other. You need to spend Time Together. Life becomes busy: Bills need to be paid; the home must be maintained; children require attention. But all of life's demands should not be at the expense of spending quality time together.

You promise unconditional love: Love is a decision and not just a feeling. Love involves putting your partner’s needs before your own. You say in your promise- in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. To love unconditionally is a promise for the future. It has more to do with your decision to love than merely the feeling of love. Can you love him/her when his/her body has lost its vigor and beauty ? Can you love him/her through annoying habits and when he/she hurt you ? Not knowing what changes the future will bring, can you love each other when you become old, ugly, fat or senile ? That’s a lot to say a blind yes to.

You make a covenant with each other. You say: I will love you and honor you… A covenant is a promise that goes deeper than a contract. Contracts are legal documents that spell out rights and duties. Contracts can be broken if one party doesn’t hold up their end. A covenant on the other hand, goes beyond a 50/50 agreement. Sometimes one spouse will need to bend 75% while the other only gives 25%. It is not always fair, but it’s a promise that doesn’t count the cost. The first step in a successful marriage is for both husband and wife to put all their effort into the relationship—each giving 100%!

The three most important things to keep a marriage healthy are commitment, commitment and commitment. With divorce rate hovering around 50%, it may seem that commitment is out of style. It is not that human nature has changed much. But the culture we live in has changed. No longer is there a strong cultural support for a lifelong marriage. We live in a throw away society; if something breaks, our first impulse is to get a new one rather than fix the old. This cultural change contributes to making commitment harder than it used to be. So it is a challenge. It is a call to live in the grace of Jesus. Jesus said: You can do nothing with out me. So it is a life fully trusting the Lord. You may be called to adapt to many factors that are beyond your control. It takes a long time to create a good relationship. A good marriage teaches us that failure is human and forgiveness comes in love.

Sometimes we tend to forget how important togetherness is. We take one another for
granted and bicker about little things. Life is precious, so is your marriage

Communication is one of the most important keys to success. Before marriage, couples often find themselves talking a lot—but this soon diminishes after the wedding day. Communication must continue throughout the marriage. The couple must continue to learn from one another, taking time to share their thoughts and feelings.

Most marriages fail because of a lack of or wrong communication. Seemingly the only type of dialog in many marriages is arguing and fighting. This is not communication! Nothing productive ever comes from this, and it should be avoided at all costs. If the discussion escalates, both must make a point to apologize immediately.

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early flight to Sydney. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 am".

The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed..it said... "It is 5:00 am, wake up!"

To such marriages it is said – after marriage husband and wife become 2 sides of a coin, they just can’t face each other, but still they live together.

"When you fall, in any way, Don't see the place where you fell, Instead see the place from where you slipped. Life is about correcting mistakes."

I don’t want to take you any further from here. I think they had enough to know how important a step they are going to take now. Let’s pray that the Lord may grant them the grace to build their home on rocky foundation with the solid rocks of gospel values and not on shaky foundation of present day unhealthy cultural trends. Wish you both a happy married life.

BEATITUDES OF MARRIAGE

Blessed are the husband and wife who continue to be affectionate,
considerate, and loving after the wedding bells have ceased ringing.

Blessed are the husband and wife who are as polite and courteous to
one another as they are to their friends.

Blessed are they who love their mates more than any other person in
the world, and who joyfully fulfill their marriage vow of a lifetime
of fidelity and mutual helpfulness to one another.

Blessed are they who attain parenthood, for children are a heritage of
the Lord.

Blessed are they who remember to thank God for their food before they
partake of it, and who set apart some time each day for the reading of
the Bible and for prayer.

Blessed are those mates who never speak loudly to one another, and who
make their home a place "where seldom is heard a discouraging word."

Blessed are the husband and wife who faithfully attend the worship
service of the church, and who work together in the church for the
advancement of Christ's kingdom.

Blessed are the husband and wife who can work out the problems of
adjustment without interference from relatives.

Blessed is the couple which has complete understanding about financial
matters, and have worked out a perfect partnership, with all money
under the control of both.

Blessed are the husband and wife who humbly dedicate their lives and
their homes to Christ, and who practice the teachings of Christ in the
home by being unselfish, loyal and loving.